By Far...

"What meaning is there to this existence?
i've seen none yet and am still delusion within this frame of reality.
is hatred the only way to see through human?
i'm unbalanced..
i need my other half.
be it whatever You've mentioned to me in the past.
i understand the fact i need to be single as my financial status does not allow.
but you've to understand the fact that everyone have different fuels in their life.
You've your balance.
i need mine.
You were such an impact to me to the extend that i cannot forgive myself because You said i've betrayed You.
although my conscience is clear.
but it is a taint.
like an inkblot.
once it dries.
it stays as a big splat.
never to be removed.
everyday i review my meaning of existence.
everyday i face a piece of hatred in my room.
everyday i think of the time.
everyday i think when will my wait will be over.
everyday...

everyday i lose my meaningless reason to live."







Asthar...why do i put you on such high priority in my life when it's meaningless?...
when it's just a delusion..?
when i know the reality of this...?
when i start thinking of you again...now.....